Waiting ……

Wait a minute… I have to confess. I don’t like to wait. Waiting means I have to … well …wait. Who has time to wait in this world?

We live in an instant world. Instant messages connect us instantly. We can take, share and post photos within seconds. We can order food/groceries for delivery and get live updates on the location of the delivery person … because God forbid that we should have to … well …..wait.

Advent is the season that calls us to do just that ….during one of the busiest times of the year. Advent is revolutionary and even countercultural in that it resists society’s need for instant replies, response, delivery and gratification.

Advent invites us to ….well …. wait.

Yet 2020 has already prepared me for Advent in terms of waiting in ways that I would have never imagined. But can I take a moment to talk about this year ….this current year 2020 ……. this whole year right here ……. has me feeling like ….

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I don’t know about you, but this whole year, I feel like I’ve been waiting.  Waiting for shelter at home orders, waiting to catch our collective breath, waiting for updates, waiting through mulitple pandemics - COVID 19 was the new one, waiting for news conferences, waiting on test results,waiting on weather updates, waiting on calls, waiting on verdicts, waiting on justice, waiting on follow up to our actions demanding justice, waiting on election results, waiting for post elections, waiting to see loved ones, waiting for Zoom Meetings to begin and end because Zoom fatigue is real,waiting on packages to arrive, waiting on the world to open up, waiting to use my passport, waiting for some kind of return to normalcy?!?!  2020 has been a wait fest.

            But in the midst of these involuntary waits, I’ve been put in a position where I have been forced to recognize some weights.  Waiting puts you in a position where you come face to face with reality. Waiting has made me more aware of things that have been weighing me down. 2020 has been a wait fest and a weight fest.  2020 has made me see myself carrying the weight of my self imposed Pre-Pandemic expectations.  I’ve had to slowly to learn to release the weight of perfectionism and being in control.  2020 is teaching me that holding on to the weight of being overextended isn’t working … it’s time to release it.  

       2020 has brought weight on in more ways than one ….. so I’ve been returning back to regular work outs. During my class, as we are in the midst of drills, my instructor occasionally reminds us that it’s okay for us to put down a weight and make modifications.  “If it’s holding you back, put down one or both of the weights.”  That’s what 2020 and Advent is teaching me this season.  One of the definitions of waiting is to be ready and available.  This season….. this year has been teaching me if it’s holding me back,and keeping me from being ready and available, I need to put the weight down.

              Even in the midst of a year, where I literally still continue to experience and feel every single possible emotion on the spectrum, letting go of some weights allowed me to experience and be blessed by some completely unexpected pleasant surprises. So 2020 also has me like …….

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            I still don’t like waiting because it means I have to …… well … wait.

But then I was reminded about Weight Watchers and how it helped me redefine my relationship with food.  2020 has made me, as a Wait Watcher redefine my relationship with waiting.

           “ … but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

God,

       This Advent journey require moments of waiting, those unexpected and unwanted pauses that may seem to stop the journey.  Please continue to remind us that the waits also give us the opportunities to discern and recognize some weights.  Give us the courage to release any weights that hold us back.  Help us remember to learn the lesson in this season.

         Ashe and Amen

Currently in a complicated relationship with waiting …. but we’re still together,

Sheila P. Spencer

   This song has been in my spirit since the early morning, and has been on heavy rotation. Take a moment to press play and I pray that it will bless you, too.