January 1, 2022 marked the beginning of the New Year and opportunity to begin again. It reminds me of a new journey and a quest. Quest and question are both derived from the Latin 'quaerere', meaning to seek, examine or investigate. The quest cannot begin without asking the questions within. Within the question, there is an untapped quest and adventure.
As I grow, the more I embrace the art of questioning. I am grateful that I no longer follow the notion that questioning is a sign of doubt or lack of faith. Questioning is how I process and grow. As an educator, I always encouraged my students to ask questions. If I didn’t know the answer I taught them that we would go on a collective quest together to discover the answer. I always wanted my students to have the gift of feeling free to ask questions and seek wisdom.
I have also embraced that liberation is on the other side of the question. When we are brave enough to ask questions, we release ourselves from assumptions. Asking questions can make us vulnerable, but the reward of deepening understanding and connections is worth the risk. This was one of my biggest lessons from 2021.
Asking questions can make us vulnerable, but the reward of deepening understanding and connections is worth the risk.
In today's blog, I want to share an experience that shifted my life many years ago with a friend who was brave enough to ask a question. Several years ago, my sistahfriend invited us to her Sister Circle Birthday Breakfast. We laughed, talked and dined on golden brown fried chicken wings and waffles. The birthday girl stood up and shared her birthday wish. She wanted each of us to answer her question: “What would you do if money wasn’t an obstacle and you were guaranteed not to fail?” That was a simple, yet deep question. We all agreed that we needed time to ponder that question. It was also an excuse not to answer the question right away. As I drove home, I thought about digging deeper into my art, expanding my writing and taking more leaps of faith.
My friend emailed us that Monday, reminding us that she was still expecting her answers. Responses poured in – visions of opening up a counseling center for teens, becoming a foster parent, traveling overseas, writing books, returning to school and starting new businesses. Once I answered the question, it naturally prompted the next one: Why should fear of failure stop me from pursuing this goal? I realized that was the purpose of her asking the question. Smart woman.
I wrote my response to her question in a newsletter format. My purpose was for it to be a one-time issue. But as soon as I pressed send, I had an idea for another issue. I called the newsletter Sistahfriend which I published for several years. The newsletter inspired poetry that I recorded on a CD and pieces that were accepted into several anthologies including Chicken Soup For the African American Woman’s Soul. I took a huge leap and accepted a position in Indianapolis where there is snow … yes I said it, snow. I pursued a ministry call and explored the world. More projects were birthed. Each of them began with my friend’s question which sparked more questions along the journey.
Those were great leaps, but they were in the past. It’s time for the new to begin. It’s okay to visit the past from time to time, but to remain in the past was never God’s design.
At the beginning of each season, I ask myself the same question that the birthday girl posed to us. She gave me a gift.
So I will give you the gift that my friend gave to me by asking you the same questions:
What would you do if money wasn’t an obstacle and you were guaranteed not to fail?
Why should fear of failure stop you from pursuing it?
Each day marks the beginning of something new, beginnings are not just confined to New Year’s Day.
Thank you Birthday friend for being brave enough to ask us the question
She knew that asking the question would challenge each of us to embark on our own personal quest.
