The Four Gates

Last week, I wrote about the differences between the silences and today I am sharing about the time to speak. 

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself "Is it True?". At the second gate ask "Is it necessary?". At the third gate ask "Is it Kind?"

I’m going to adjust and add the gate of edifying. Let’s go through the gates

True -   “Here is your part: Tell the truth. Be fair. Live at peace with everyone.”  Zechariah 8:16

That is the first gate. Is it true - now there is truth according to you and the real truth.  Is it a verified source? Is it true and a matter of fact?  This is the first gate.

Necessary -   “What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.”  Proverbs 18:21 This is the pivotal gate. Just because something is true, it doesn’t automatically mean that it is necessary to say.  As a chaplain, I often had to mediate when patients would have visitors.  One family member exclaimed when she walked in “Oh my God, you look horrible” True, but not necessary.  Some things may pass the first gate and if it doesn’t pass this second gate because it’s not necessary to say, perhaps your assignment is to pray. 

Edifying -  Ephesians 4:29: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Is this going to be a word that is going to build up and help a person’s life and journey? Are they going to be edified in the end?  My fitness trainer has a regimen for me that is not always pleasant.  But it builds up my physical body.  When we build each other up, there may be some hard conversations, but the end result is that it will build us.

Kind/Loving -  “Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.”   Ephesians 4:15

Is it rooted in love? ,I mean real love, not with a hidden agenda, not with a I’ve been wanting to tell them this type of urgency … but rooted in Jesus love - Speaking the truth in love.  During an Inter-generational gathering a young woman said to the elders, “We appreciate you speaking the truth, just don’t forget the in love part.”  So before you begin your day - think about these four gates with the words you say

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Is it edifying?

Is it kind/rooted in love?

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you

A familiar phrase we’ve known and heard but I have found it isn’t true.

The words we speak have to ability to kill and heal

Be careful with the words you speak - the power is real.

And remember if one of the gates stops you from the words you want to say, perhaps the assignment is for you to pray.

Speak Life

Sheila P Spencer